The Gray Pages

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

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Fathead: the legends.

Songs for the season

The comment section is particularly good:

Pap-el-bon! Pap-el-bon!
Sub-one E.R.A!
Who can tell if he will shine
When he's starting each fifth da--ay?

Pap-el-bon! Pap-el-bon!

In the pen no more.
Let's just hope this experiment
Doesn't make his shoulder sore!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Wedding: The process of removing weeds from a garden

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

I think, for many couples, the answer to this question reveals itself during the wedding planning.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Stealing jokes

I can't remember whose joke this was. You know that song "A Horse With No Name," by America? I know, it's terrible. We all know its terrible. But if you're stuck in the desert with nothing to do, Name The Damn Horse!!!

More on the Gyroball

Again: I think.

(The whole article is here.)

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Welcome to Boston

A primer on the Hub. I think.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Poor kid

This link was mentioned in Wired Magazine. It's mesmerizing, though.


Thursday, December 14, 2006

Remember when words had meanings?

James Kirby, manufacturer of a drink called "Cocaine," does not. He says his beverage offers "extreme refreshment." Ahhhh. TO THE EXTREME!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

It's that time of year

Time for me to predict the Red Sox will win the AL East!

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Time for a little thing I like to call ... Gyroball!


Is it pronounced Yero-ball, or Jiro-ball?

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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Good stuff



Monday, December 11, 2006

In your face, Novak!

In case anyone was wondering why an otherwise sane man (me) would yell at an syndicated op-ed columnist at MCI Center, I suggest such a person read Bob Novak's Democrats Can Smell the Pork in today's Post. As if the Republicans have been responsible with the federal budget.



What's the appropriate way to acknowledge that the gifted, talented, and strikingly good-looking people who interviewed me last week are probably reading this blog?

They're way too smart to fall for transparent compliments.

Learning to talk like Dan Dierdorf

Wrong: The Colts have a porous run defense. This will hurt them in upcoming games.

Right: You can't tell me that 31 other teams in the National Football League aren't licking their chops right now and not thinking that the Colts run defense isn't their Achilles' heel.

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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Helpful advice

Q. How Much Does A Puppy Cost?

A. This is not the time to hunt for a bargain. Your new puppy will be a member of your family for his lifetime, so you'll want to make a wise investment.

This message brought to you by the American Association of Puppy Dealers.



PBS just aired a good episode of Nova, "Dogs and More Dogs." Many interesting issues were raised, and many passive sentences were constructed.

People get dogs for many reasons, I suppose, but most of us dog owners get them for pets. (For example, there are working dogs, and there are security dogs. They are a distinct minority.) So why do we keep breeding pure-bred dogs instead of breeding dogs to be good pets? Everyone wants a dog that sheds less. Most people want a dog that's good with children. Most people want a dog that doesn't need much exercise. And instead of breeding dogs that have these attributes, we're breeding dogs so that they look as much like this as possible.

Why is this happening?

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Oatmeal. Oat meal. A meal of oats. It's like they weren't even trying.

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The new beta blog

I'm trying something new with the labels on my post. See if you can pick up any themes.


Tuesday, December 05, 2006

A good non-move by the Nationals

My first baseball prediction of the 2007 season!

Mariners, Guillen agree on 1-year deal

The Mariners and Guillen agreed on a one-year, $5.5 million contract Monday with a $9 million mutual option for 2008, giving Seattle a starting right fielder and a dangerous bat in the middle of the order.

Sixty-nine games played last year. The year before that, he hit .246/.306/.395 after the All-Star Break. He stunk, he stinks, and he will stink. And the Mariners are paying his $5.5 million to do it. And they gave up a draft pick, which is now the property of the Nationals, too.

On the other hand, I will miss "Jose, Jose, Jose, Jose" sung to the tune of "Ole', ole', ole', ole'," that soccer chant.

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Saturday, December 02, 2006

And I am not a piece of toast

In celebration of the good people who buy everything they eat at the low, low price of $6.99 a pound, I had two soft-boiled eggs for breakfast today. I overcooked them, but they were still delicious.

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Friday, December 01, 2006

This week at Whole Foods ...

... I saw someone buying two hard-boiled eggs from the salad bar: $6.99 a pound. I wonder if a nerd has already done a cost-benefit analysis on the most costly items in the salad bar as compared with the cost of the item outside of the salad bar, time of preparation, etc.

Hard-boiled eggs would fair poorly in such a calculation, but I think Jell-O is probably the least economical purchase one can make in a salad bar.

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