Your Republican Party, But Not Mine

Bill O'Reilly: But do you understand what the New York Times wants, and the far-left want? They want to break down the white, Christian, male power structure, which you're a part, and so am I, and they want to bring in millions of foreign nationals to basically break down the structure that we have. In that regard, Pat Buchanan is right. So I say you've got to cap with a number.

John McCain: In America today we've got a very strong economy and low unemployment, so we need addition farm workers, including by the way agriculture, but there may come a time where we have an economic downturn, and we don't need so many.

[crosstalk]

O'Reilly: But in this bill, you guys have got to cap it. Because estimation is 12 million, there may be 20 [million]. You don't know, I don't know. We've got to cap it.

McCain: We do, we do. I agree with you.



Here's what else John McCain should have said: Fuck you, Bill.

A Tale of Two Pitchers

Player One: 10,300 hits
Player Two: 625 hits

Neither player is Graig Nettles.

Coward returns

I wonder why he's facing the White Sox. Can anyone think of a single reason why he'd rather return against the White Sox? I just can't imagine why he'd rather face the White Sox.

Can we start the "Where is Roger?" chants now?

Coward.

Hail, O-Cab

Cabrera rips Yankees fans

'They don't appreciate good baseball,' says Angels shortstop, who praises fans in Anaheim and Boston.

Literally

dl004d sends a text: Dan Patrick has stated that a good closer is literally worth his weight in gold.

First, let's name some good closers. Eighteen pitchers have 10 or more saves so far this year. For simplicity's sake, let's accept that the ones at the top of the list are great closers. The middle of the list has 3 guys with 13 saves: Trevor Hoffman, Al Reyes, and Brian Fuentes. Let's call these three "good."

Trevor Hoffman. 215 pounds; 2007 Salary: $7,000,000.
Al Reyes. 212 pounds; 2007 Salary: $750,000.
Brian Fuentes. 230 pounds; 2007 Salary: $3,500,000.

The going price of gold is about $650 an ounce, according to the first website I found and clicked on, or -- conveniently -- $10,400 a pound. Let's call it $10 thousand to make this really easy.

The value of 215 pounds of gold is $2,150,000.

License plates seen in my neighborhood

Both Maryland plates:

W LIED
FOIA

"FOIA"? Someone is that excited about the Freedom of Information Act? I wonder what I could have asked the driver.

"So, what kind of gas mileage does that car get?"
"How are the wife and kids?"
I have a right to know!

Clipping the Clipper

It's not often that I spend time thinking about teams that are 3 games below .500 approaching Memorial Day, or about players with fewer career hits than Graig Nettles, but today I will do just that.

Derek Jeter got his 2,215th (and 2,216th) career hit(s) last night, passing Joe DiMaggio on the all-time list. Next up for Jetes?

151.	Fred Tenney*	2231	L
152.	Joe Sewell+*	2226	L
153.	Graig Nettles*	2225	L
154.	Darrell Evans*	2223	L
155.	Joe Kelley+	2220	R

What I find most interesting about this is just how few hits Joe DiMaggio had over his career - four more than Willie Randolph and seven more than Willie Wilson, to name two. But then I remembered that DiMaggio lost 3 years to World War II. And it's reasonable, given that he was absolutely, positively at the top of his game in those years, to think that 3 more 180-hit seasons would have been in order, bringing his career total to 2,754 -- 20 fewer than Andre Dawson.

Could someone explain to me how this man was ever described as the Greatest Living Ballplayer?

And, to open up an entirely different can of worms, is it possible that Jeter will play long enough -- moving to 3rd base, then 1st base, then DH -- that he could possibly, conceivably threaten 4,256? He gets to play for as long as he wants to -- no Yankee owner will ever cut him. The question is, does he want to play until he's 45, or doesn't he?

I'm pretty sure he wasn't joking

Rick Sutcliffe starts sensibly and then returns to form:

"The Yankees got lucky, because Josh Beckett is on the DL. And they won't have to face Dice-K, because it's not his turn in the rotation. And they're lucky that they don't have to play the Red Sox on a Thursday, because the Sox are 7-0 on Thursdays so far this year."

The NY Post regrets the error

56,000 vacant seats ... would accompany any Roger Clemens Day at Yankee Stadium. He wants to come back? He can buy a ticket. Just like any other Texas tourist.
-- Mike Vaccaro, June 13, 2004


You don't always get the chance to redeem yourself this way, but that's the opportunity Roger Clemens has now.
-- Mike Vaccaro, May 7, 2007

New car, caviar, four-star daydream

"Goodness! That's Roger Clemens's music!"

Suzyn Waldman announces, "Roger Clemens! Is in George's box! And Roger Clemens is coming back! Oh my goodness gracious! Of all the dramatic things ... of all the dramatic things I ever seen ... "

Yeah, I guess they don't see much drama in the Bronx in the fall these days (nothing the YESmen would want to discuss anyway). WWE-style drama in the Spring will have to suffice.

Kudos to you, George. You've paid the highest pro-rated salary in baseball history for 3 wins. Who's going to pitch the sixth inning, anyway?

Thank you to WCBS for this demonstration of how the mighty have fallen.

Way better than Almunus

WSOC TV's website needs a new headline writer.